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Hurricane Dorian
'Hurricane Dorian '''was an extremely destructive and long-living Category 5 hurricane that struck the Gulf Coast of the United States in August 2019, causing catastrophic damage across all of North America. The storm's record-breaking low pressure system as well as bad voodoo magic precipitated the hurricane's sheer energy. The storm was the first major hurricane of the otherwise calm 2019 Atlantic hurricane season, as well as the most intense tropical cyclone on record to make landfall in the United States. The storm originated over the Atlantic Ocean on August 23, 2019, from the merger of a black cloud of smoke from a passing ship's steam whistle and the remnants of discarded chicken bones floating in the water. Early on the following day, the newly formed tropical depression intensified into a Category 5 immediately and headed generally westward toward Florida. After very briefly weakening to a Category 2, Dorian began to pump iron and strengthened into a hypothetical Category 8 (although this status was recognized throughout the public, the National Weather Service never declared Dorian's strength past a maximum Category 5.) Throughout the rest of August, Dorian continued to mercilessly taunt and rip apart at the United States as if it were a string of tenderloin dangling above the black lips of a canine. Meteorological history Not many people know the full story of Hurricane Dorian or the origin of it's name. It is actually an anagram: * '''D'estructive * 'O'bliteration * 'R'ips * 'I'nto * 'A'merican * 'N'ation Well, whoever coined that anagram was right... darn right. Dorian's initial strength and 'umph' came from the excessive wind power being released from the country of Algeria. In the country, August 24 is their national "Burp and Fart Day", and it is celebrated by nearly everybody within the border. As the entire country of Algebra hustled and bustled together, they simultaneously released the widest, loudest, most powerful sound wave to have ever been recorded (a Guinness World Records representative was on standby to verify their record). The black energy ball released from their burps and farts whisked through the air playfully as citizens bounced and jumped up to grab it. The black hole continued to giggle around before zooming up into the meanest looking cloud you have ever seen. The people of Algbera began to run and howl, screaming at the top of their brown cake-soaked lungs. Trees, weeds, and peas were ripped from the ground as the grizzly winds of Dorian made me sneeze, grabbing and crushing tiny little citizens. Peoples eyeballs were ripped from the stalks and flew into the storm for a better look. In under 40 seconds, the once gorgeous colorful candy world of Algeria was now a wasteland of blood and bones. Aftermath Y'all should have listened to me. Now Gullah Gullah Island has been reduced to nothing but driftwood and cobblestone. It's a darn shame (excuse my language). Survivors have been left to eat mulch and drink brine. Victims continue to float in the water and are now used as transportation. The seas are rough with 50 foot high waves continuously crashing onto the island every second. "There is no hope," I mumbled, sucking the grease off my fingers as I engorged. The sight of "ground zero" as they calls it made my eyes fill with glunge. I was angery. They didn't listen to me, so I was going to pave over their paradise and build a Church's Chicken right out in the middle of the ocean. NowCategory:Category 5 Atlantic hurricanes